I love stumbling upon an old blog post or journal entry that marked a turning point in my life. Of course, I rarely knew they were turning points at the time I wrote about them, unaware of how one decision or challenge might deeply impact my future.
Last night, I came across this post, written five years ago this week. It’s clear I’d been thunderstruck: some days, life knocks the wind out of you…just kicks you in the gut when you’re least expecting it, as if to remind you not to get too comfortable, not to take it all for granted.
Here on the blog, I wrote vaguely about the challenge I was suddenly facing, but I remember the specifics of it well. My boss of a few months had announced he was leaving to pursue one of his passions. I was shocked. I had been burnt out for quite some time,so tired of spreadsheets and business trips, board meetings and budgets. But I’d felt buoyed for several months by his quirky leadership style; he was creative, high-energy, unconventional and instrumental in helping me land a weekend radio show {which was scheduled to launch a couple of weeks later}.
As he sat across from me in his office and told me the news, clearly excited to follow his heart and try something new, I longed to be in his shoes. I want to do that, I thought. I want to be brave. I want to try something new. I want to do what I love.
His decision to leave inspired my decision to leave. Six months later, I had the same meeting with my staff that he’d had with me; I told them I was leaving to pursue my passions and try something new. I had a mini business plan for myself, but nothing set in stone; I knew I’d do freelance writing for clients, host the radio show {which lasted for nearly five years}, and continue blogging.
As soon as I’d decided to make the move, I felt so free – like anything was possible. I fully expected good things to come, but couldn’t imagine yet what those things would be; that someday I’d be leading things like this or contributing to something like this, or speaking to women who need help getting unstuck, or snapping a picture of my own necklace hanging in a favorite shop {I took that photo above at i like you in Minneapolis yesterday}.
In hindsight, I’m so grateful for that crappy day five years ago and the way it motivated me to follow my own heart. It felt like a burden at the time, but it was really an invitation to do better and shine brighter – to show up for the life I was meant to live.
