Today was a big day in the Lane household. It was our new nanny’s first day and I’m so happy, I could cry. I thought we’d never find her – which was exactly the problem.
For three years, we had a wonderful part-time nanny whom the boys adored. Jordan was {and is} like family – but needed to move away to pursue her own dreams. I chose to stay close-to-home for a while, slowing down and relishing extra time with my boys during the holidays. But eventually, I got a case of Restless Soul Syndrome. My boys are such bright lights in my life – but I also know I am healthiest and happiest when I’m also pursuing the other work that lights me up from the inside out. I really, truly believe that when I have the time and resources to focus on those passions, I am a better mama and my kids benefit from seeing me do what I love.
The only problem? These past several months, I have not had the time and resources to give anything my all, often leaving me to feel scatterbrained and stretched too thin. That fed into my sense of desperation and doubt as I looked – unsuccessfully – for a new nanny. Time and time again, things went wrong – from scheduling conflicts to transportation issues to breakdowns in communication. The funny but frustrating stories piled up – like the nanny who informed me her main job is selling sex toys or the one who thought working with kids might help improve her lack of “people skills.” I mean – I want the best for my kids, but I was starting to cave under the pressure, thinking my standards were too high and that I should just settle for someone who was not great but merely good enough.
Then, during a recent discussion with a friend, I realized my biggest problem was me.
When my friend asked me to attend an upcoming event, I said I’d love to – “if I could just find a fucking nanny!” We laughed, but my words hung over the table, daring me to look at them. “Hmm. Maybe I should start by NOT calling her ‘the fucking nanny,'” I said. I felt like I’d been hit upside the head with one of Oprah’s aha moments.
See, it didn’t matter how hard I worked to find the “right” person; I was sabotaging myself by putting such negative energy into the ether, focusing on all the things I didn’t want vs. the things I did. With all that doubt and desperation, I left no room for the universe to deliver the perfect person to our family. So, I went home and visualized the nanny I really wanted to come into our lives. I imagined how incredible it would feel to find her and I made a list {above} of all the qualities we were looking for. And then I decided to just assume that such a person would be arriving any day. I even agreed to some work commitments for spring and summer, figuring I’d have the perfect childcare in place by then. That attitude shift was such a relief, moving from tension to trust.
I kid you not: our new nanny waltzed into our life THREE DAYS LATER, out of the blue. When she came over to meet the boys last week, I kept thinking about the list of positive traits I’d written – and realized she had them all. I really believe three things brought her to us:
1) I got crystal-clear about the type of nanny we desired AND imagined how amazing it would feel to find her.
2) I wrote it all down, securing a place for my intention not only on paper but in my head and heart. There is something so visceral and powerful about writing and seeing the words before you.
3) I trusted that she existed and was readily available – and began to live my life with that assumption.
I believe that when we are clear and heartfelt in our requests, the universe answers swiftly and kindly – always working in our favor. This was no exception. Within days of me shifting my mindset and clarifying my desires, the perfect nanny appeared – right on time.
