We all know what it’s like to long for someone to show up in our life – a new friend, a new partner, a new colleague, a new client. But do you ever feel like NOT finding the perfect people has become the story of your life? You still long to find them, but suspect and expect they’ll always elude you? You’re not alone.
That’s why I love the conversation I had with my friend Jen this weekend. She’s the photographer behind most of the pictures of me on my site. And a few months ago, she left her job to focus on photography full-time. (Yay!)
Jen in her studio
When I asked if November was shaping up to be crazy-busy for her, she shrugged and nonchalantly said, “Not yet.” But this has to be a busy time, I insisted; aren’t families chomping at the bit to get holiday photos taken? Again, Jen shrugged. And then she told me this: since diving into self-employment, she’s gone into almost every month with a wide open calendar, no clients to speak of. But within the first couple of days each month, her schedule has filled up with sessions. Booked solid.
Wow. Most entrepreneurs – especially those in the early days of their full-time businesses – would FLIP OUT over that much uncertainty. They’d look at that empty schedule and wave the white flag of surrender. But not Jen.
She trusts the people will come – and they do.
Now, that doesn’t mean she sits around twiddling her thumbs, waiting for the phone to ring. She still promotes her biz and hones her craft, but not frantically, not from a place of desperation, not in a fit of jealousy over what other photographers are doing. Right on.
Seems like so many people are in crisis mode lately, searching frantically for the people they think they need to make their lives better. But that scarcity mentality, obsessing over what or whom we lack in our lives, only magnifies the problem and traps us in a cloudy bubble of negative energy. Whether we need a handful of new clients or one new best friend, the trick is to focus specifically and joyfully on who we do want to walk through that door, and then fully expect they will.
I actually do this every time I launch a new program. A week from today, I’ll begin a new session of The Art of Choosing Beauty. When I created this class, I carefully envisioned the type of participants I wanted to attract: women with open hearts and minds who are longing to feel consistently happy, looking for ways to stay positive, hoping for healing and a renewed sense of hope, and eager to be supportive and supported in a circle of kindred spirits. And you know what? That’s exactly who showed up for the first round and I fully trust that’s who is showing up for this next round. (Is it you?) It’ll be a smaller group this time around, but it will be the perfect group.
There are seven billion of us on this spinning planet. Your people are out there.
Yep. Your best friends, your best boss, your best therapist, your best babysitter, your best plumber, your best client, your best mentor. Get clear on what about them will fill your cup, then silently invite them into your life. When you feel like taking action (making a call, trying a new place, saying hello), ask yourself if you’re being motivated by inspiration or desperation. Inspiration feels lighter, easier, happier, doable. Desperation makes you feel heavier, anxious, stressed, doubtful. And since thoughts create things and our feelings magnify our desires, inspired action (vs. desperate action) helps us attract the right people, the best people into our lives. You might as well start planning a welcome party, time and date to be determined.
